Accidents Happen

Co-written by: Myst and LJ


Eric barely stopped himself from cursing as he slipped and fell at his workshop. Feeling something wet, he glanced at his right hand and saw he had cut it on the chisel he’d been using when he fell.

Getting carefully to his feet, he looked around for his cell phone. Luckily, he’d put it on the back counter when he came in that morning. Punching Chandi’s number, he hoped his partner would be able to come and pick him up to take him to the medical clinic as he did not feel up to driving. As soon as the phone rang the second time and he heard it being picked up, he relaxed.

Chandi was enjoying his day off. Okay, so doing the laundry was far from being exciting, but doing his bit to make their house a home was important. The phone ringing startled him and it took him a couple of rings to locate it. “Hello.”

“Hi, honey. I’m afraid I need your help. I’m pretty much okay, but I slipped and cut my hand and need to go to the medical clinic, probably for stitches.”

Chandi willed himself to be calm. “Don’t move! I’ll be right there!” Grabbing his keys off the counter, he headed out the door and slid behind the wheel of Eric’s car.

A few minutes later Eric heard the car pulling up. He quickly grabbed his keys and locked up the shop. He couldn’t help but admire how Chandi had the passenger door open for him without even leaving the car. “I’m okay; well, pretty much okay. I’ve stopped bleeding.” He sent his partner a stiff smile. “I just didn’t want to take a chance driving the van.”

Chandi helped Eric to buckle up before putting the car in reverse and peeling out of the driveway. “Are you in much pain, Eric? How did this happen?” He tried to get a close look at his partner and keep his eyes on the road at the same time.

“I’m not in much pain. I slipped and cut my hand on a chisel.” After a second, he added, “I feel like an idiot.”

“Hey, man, accidents happen,” Chandi assured the older man. “Just hold on, we’ll be at the clinic in no time.”

It didn’t take long to get to their destination. Once the paperwork had been filled in, Chandi paced while Eric patiently waited for his turn to see the doctor on duty. “It’s always the same thing, Eric.....hurry up and wait. A person could bleed to death waiting for someone to see to him," he anxiously complained.

“I’m sure they’ll see me soon. There’s only one other patient here who appears to be more of an emergency.”

Just then the nurse, Mary Douglas, called out; “Mr Eric Patterson?”

Eric got up slowly and started for the door she held open. “That’s me.”

“Dr. Miller will see you now,” Mary pleasantly informed him.

Chandi nervously followed. He wasn’t particularly comfortable in a hospital setting, but didn’t want to let Eric out of his sight. He remained silent as Eric once again repeated what had happened but couldn’t suppress the groan that escaped his lips when the doctor unwound the bloody towel from around the injured hand.

Dr. Miller quickly looked over the cut and cleaned it. “It looks like you’re going to need a few stitches here, Mr. Patterson. Would you like a shot of Novocaine to dull the pain first?”

Eric nodded and said, “Yes, thanks. I’d really appreciate it.”

Chandi blanched when he saw the needle. He was more than duly impressed by what he saw as bravery on Eric’s part.

A few minutes later, Dr Miller had Eric all stitched up and was applying a sterile dressing. Chandi listened carefully to the doctor’s instructions, mentally filing them away until later. He gave a long drawn-out sigh of relief when they were told to go home.

“Thanks, Dr. Miller,” Eric said. “I’ll take it easy for the next few days, I promise. And,” he added with a smile, “I know Chandi will make sure I do everything you’ve told me.”

“Man, I’m glad we don’t have to go through something like this too often. I don’t think I could handle it,” he muttered his gratitude on their way across the parking lot to the car.

“Home, sweet home!” Chandi merrily announced fifteen minutes later and he tossed his keys onto the kitchen counter. “You just get comfy, Eric, and I’ll have supper on the table shortly.”

“Thanks, I do need to sit down. That was a lot more trying than I thought it would be.” Eric sank into a chair with a sigh. He wanted nothing more than to cuddle with Chandi for a few minutes, but he could tell Chandi was too wound up to relax.

“Chandi honey, would you mind if we had something easy like sandwiches? I’m not sure I’m up to more than that and I don’t want you to wear yourself out.” Looking at his partner he added, “You’ve been a rock today.”

Chandi warmed to the praise. “Sandwiches it is then.” He didn’t mind at all having to make a simpler meal. The adrenalin rush was over and he felt himself coming down. He smiled at Eric, noticing that the older man also appeared to be crashing.

“Okay, listen up….here’s this evening’s schedule: supper, shower and sleep!” He winked at his lover. “Of course, depending on how we feel at any given moment, other activities can be thrown into the mix.” The younger man was unaware of how easily he stepped back into the role of care-giver.

“I like the way you think,” Eric said with a grin. He was amazed that Chandi wasn’t worn out with all that he’d done and was still doing. “However, for tonight I think I’ll go with your schedule of supper, shower and sleep. Look out tomorrow, though!”

After he ate and made his way upstairs to shower, he decided it wouldn’t hurt to have some help. Opening the bathroom door, he smirked and called out, “Chandi, can you help me get my jeans off? It’s kinda hard with just one hand.”

“I’ll be right there, Eric!” Chandi hollered up the stairs and gave the kitchen table a final swipe. Quickly locking up downstairs, he headed up to the bathroom. It didn’t take long to strip his partner and shed his own clothing.

“Wait a sec, lover, I forgot something.” Chandi’s eyes held a mischievous gleam when he returned with his hand behind his back. “Okay, step into the tub and I’ll turn on the water.”

He waited for Eric to get in and stepped in beside him. Grabbing the wrist of his partner’s injured hand; Chandi snapped on a handcuff and clicked the other cuff on the bar of the shower curtain. “Now I’ve got you right where I want you.” He grinned wickedly.

Eric saw Chandi’s grin as his Brat cuffed him to shower rail and he couldn’t help but grin in return even though he was getting tired. “And just what do you think you’re doing?” Eric asked gruffly with a silly smirk spreading across his face.

He reached for his partner with his good hand. If Chandi wanted to play, he certainly wasn’t going to say ‘no’.

“Hey, the doctor said not to get your hand wet and I bet by the time I’m finished, you be agreeing that this sure bets the plastic bag method. Besides, it will give me more time to do what I want with you.” Chandi wagged his eyebrows suggestively and laughed out loud at the older man’s smirk.

Grabbing up the body wash, Chandi generously lathered up a facecloth and rubbed it over Eric’s chest. He took his time, slowly washing his lover’s body from head to toe.

After rinsing away the soap and shampoo, Chandi began an erotic assault as he kiss, licked and nibbled his way down from Eric’s willing lips to his more that eager arousal. He took his lover’s magnificent erection into his mouth, tasting and sucking while gently playing with Eric’s balls. It didn’t take long to bring the bigger man to a crashing climax, leave him gasping for breath and leaning weakly again the wall.

Chandi quickly showered, turned off the water and snatch up a big fluffy towel. After getting them both dried off, he unlocked the handcuffs and settled his well-sated, dazed partner in their bed. A quick tidy-up and Chandi was ready to cuddle with the man he loved.

Eric couldn’t believe how tired he was getting, but he fought it off. His Brat had been so great all day and he wanted to make sure his partner felt appreciated. He quickly pulled the younger man closer and began to stroke him gently, starting with his face and working his way down the beautiful, finely-toned body.

Seeing Chandi becoming aroused, he gently asked with a smile. “Do you like this? Is it turning you on? Want me to go on or stop?” Seeing the slightly glazed look in his lover’s eyes, Eric continued to play with his body, saying as he continued to stroke him, “Let me know what you want. You do want something, don’t you? Tell me.”

“Yes, you turn me on easily enough,” Chandi softly moaned. “But I quite happy just cuddling, Eric, as we’re both tired and besides, you can’t get the bandage soiled.” Chandi chuckled as he nestled in closer and lovingly kiss Eric’s lips. “God, you’re so hot and sexy,” he murmured as his lover’s large, calloused hand continued to caress him. “All right, my love, if you insist on playing, I’m game even though I’m concerned about your injured hand.”

“I guess you do have a point, baby, so cuddling and petting it will be. After all, we have all day tomorrow to ourselves.” As he continued chatting with Chandi, Eric found himself getting sleepier and sleepier.

Finally, he knew he could not fight it any longer and murmured sleepily, “G’night, love," as he fell into a restful sleep.

Chandi watched his lover dose off and then he rolled over. Spooning behind Eric, he wrapped his arms around the big man and soon fell asleep himself.

************

The next three days passed smoothly with Chandi doing everything possible to ease the irritation Eric experienced at having to perform even the most common daily activities with one hand, and his left one at that. But both men would be returning to their respective work places this morning. Chandi’s next stint of four days on was about to begin and Eric badly needed the distraction of puttering around his workshop.

Chandi had got up early to start breakfast and get their day underway. He was presently standing at the kitchen window and staring out at the back garden. He wasn’t seeing anything as memories from the past assailed him, bringing with them an abundance of emotions. Although most were good, there were also negative ones which rapidly overwhelmed him. He held his cup of cooling coffee in his hand, completely oblivious to the bacon burning on the stove as he tried to deal with the feelings of past sorrow, guilt and shame.

Eric woke up and reached for Chandi but was disappointed to find nothing but an empty bed. He could just make out by straining, the faint sounds of Chandi working in the kitchen. Staying in bed for an extra few minutes, he reflected on all that his partner had taken on over the last few days and Eric decided he wanted to come up with something special to show Chandi he didn’t take him for granted. As he got out of bed, Eric thought he smelled something and sniffed the air.

‘That’s not normal,’ he thought as he sniffed the air for a second time. Then it came to him. It was not the smell of bacon cooking; it was the smell of bacon burning!

Running down the stairs and into the kitchen, he found a stream of black smoke winding towards the ceiling. Grabbing two pot holders, he shoved the pan onto a different burner and covered it with a lid. Next, he turned off the stove and turned on the exhaust fan, hoping to clear the air before a smoke alarm went off. Eric turned toward his partner, who hadn’t moved the whole time he’d been putting out the potential fire. Knowing that something must be terribly wrong for Chandi to not be aware of what had been happening around him, Eric softly called out his name.

Getting no response, he called again slightly louder. “Chandi? Chandi honey, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”

Surprised at the unexpected disturbance of his dream world, Chandi spun around, dropping his coffee mug in the process. He was gathering up the broken pieces when he noticed the foul smell of burnt food. He stood up and immediately began apologizing. “I’m sorry, Eric. I didn’t mean to make such a mess of things. It won’t take long to get it all cleaned up and then I’ll prepare a proper breakfast for you.”

Chandi set about his self-appointed task but, instead of working in his usual easy-going manner, he was extremely agitated and only making things worse. He threw the dishcloth into the sink in a fit of anger and turned to look at his partner with an expression of defeat. “I can’t do it,” he murmured, blinking back tears of frustration.

With a growing sense of dread Eric watched Chandi try to start breakfast, but the younger man seemed to be struggling with trying to do everything himself. When his partner threw the cloth into the sink, Eric calmly ordered. “Chandi, stop! You need to sit down and calm down. I’ll make our breakfast and when you’re ready, I need you to tell me what’s got you so upset.”

Realizing his Brat might balk at telling him what was wrong, Eric gently added, “The only way I can help you is if you tell me what has you so worked up. I’m not leaving the kitchen and neither are you until we talk this out.”

Chandi responded to the gentleness in his lover’s voice. After a couple of minutes of surveying the mess he had made, he reluctantly obeyed Eric’s order to sit down. “I don’t know if I can talk about it, Eric,” he replied despondently.

“I need to know what upset you so much,” Eric stated firmly. “If you don’t tell me, how can I help you?” Suddenly an idea hit. Opening a drawer, he took out a pad of paper and a pencil, and placed them on the table. “I want you to write down how you are feeling and if possible, why you are feeling that way. Maybe that will be easier for you.”

Chandi blinked in surprise and then gazed down at items in front of him. The shaking of his head indicated his lack of enthusiasm for the idea. “I can’t do that either, Eric. Furthermore, I don’t want to do it.” He pushed back his chair and announced. “You needn’t make breakfast for me ‘cause I’m not hungry. I’ll grab coffee at the station.”

Recognizing the resolve in his partner’s expression, Chandi hurriedly got to his feet, left the room and ran upstairs.

Eric was momentarily dumbfounded at seeing Chandi run off without even trying to do as he’d been asked. Taking a deep breath, he quietly followed his partner up the stairs and into their room.

Chandi was in the process of removing his uniform from the closet when Eric appeared behind him. The big man did not look too happy.

When he saw what Chandi was doing, Eric stepped forward and strongly informed him, “I’ll take that.” Then he took it out of the other man’s hands and after putting it back in its’ normal place, closed the closet door. Looking sternly at his Brat, he said, “I know there’s been a lot of extra work you’ve had to do with me being laid up these last few days, but I will not stand for you defying me.”

Turning Chandi around, he gave him a couple of firm swats on the rear with his good hand, then he hugged him tight. “Come on, love, tell me what’s wrong. No matter what it is we’ll deal with it. If you can’t tell me, we’ll find someone you can talk to.”

Chandi returned the hug with one arm while trying to rub the sting out of his backside with his free hand. “If I was able to talk to anyone, Eric, it would be you. And please don’t think for one minute that I minded doing more than my share while your hand was healing. It’s what loving partners do for each other.” He disentangled himself from his lover’s arms. “I’m sorry for not doing as you asked but I just really want to go to work.”

Eric could tell, despite his words otherwise, that Chandi was in no shape to go to work. He gently pushed Chandi onto the bed and gave him a determined look. “I know you want to go to work, but you are not going in today. What you are going to do is lie there and figure out how you are going to tell me what is upsetting you. You can write it or you can talk to me about it. I don’t care which, but rest assured, we will be discussing this. Right now, I’m going to call your chief and explain that you are not up to being on duty today. Your only option right now is to settle down and think things through.”

Chandi wanted to rebel but instead found himself obeying his Top’s orders. His eyes followed Eric’s every move and he was vaguely away of a telephone conversation taking place as Eric’s voice flowed over him. Chandi felt the tension drain from his body and his thoughts calm as he submitted to the older man’s authority. Rolling unto his side, he drifted off into a light sleep.

Sometime later, Chandi awoke to strong arms enfolding him as Eric spooned behind him. He was ready to talk, or at least try to.

“Mom passed away seven years ago today,” Chandi sadly whispered, keeping his back to the older man. He discovered it was easier to share his inner-most thoughts and fears if he wasn’t looking at his partner’s face. “I wanted to think of all the good times but could only remember the bad ones…like her getting weaker by the day, needing so much care, of us being shut in the house most of the last six months.”

Chandi paused for several long minutes as he fought back the storm of emotions threatening to once again overwhelm him. “My Mom’s friends faithfully visited but mine soon stopped coming around…guess they were uncomfortable and maybe felt a little helpless. There were times when I resented not going out with them and then I’d feel so guilty. I loved her and wanted to take care of her….but sometimes…” Chandi swallowed hard, his feelings of shame surfacing. “I only hope she never knew….if she did, she never mentioned it. But I knew,” he murmured tearfully.

“Oh sweetheart, I had no idea,” Eric replied, his voice choked with distress at what Chandi had just told him. “I’m sure your mother knew how devoted you were to her, how much you were willing to sacrifice for her and of your love for her,” he continued softly as he began to massage Chandi’s shoulders. “I had no idea you’d been keeping this in all this time and now I can see how you taking care of me these past few days must have brought it all back.”

Eric paused for a moment to get his thoughts in order. “Keeping this to yourself is not good. You need to talk about it and deal with everything you’ve kept bottled up. You can talk to me. I’ll listen and do what I can to help, but I think you need to see someone who knows more than I possibly could.” Before Chandi had a chance to reply, Eric continued. “I won’t force you to see someone, but I want you to think about it; seriously think about it. I will be there to support you every step of the way if you decide to see someone. And if you can’t do it at this time, I’ll support that decision as well. But you know I don’t have the background or training to give you all the help you need.”

Eric waited a few seconds and not getting a response, he added, “Just remember; no matter what, I’ll be here for you.”

Chandi turned over and faced his partner. “What do you mean by someone who knows more? You think I need to see a shrink or something?” Chandi reluctantly admitted that Eric may have made a good point and while he appreciated Eric’s loving concern, what he really wanted was someone to take control, make a few decisions for him and enforce them if necessary.

“Yes, I think you need to see a counselor,” Eric stated steadily. “You need to see someone who has the background to help you deal with all the things you’ve suppressed that are causing you problems. I don’t care if we have to go to Vancouver every week to do it either. You are the man I love, the one who I care about above all others. I’ll be with you every time, if you want. You are not going to have to do this alone.”

“I guess I could go see our family doctor at the clinic,” Chandi quietly proposed, although he didn’t sound too convinced of such a visit proving beneficial. “You can come with me if you want. Maybe you can even explain things better than I can.”

As it turned out, Chandi was referred to a psychologist in Kelowna so the longer trip to Vancouver was avoided. His first appointment was three weeks after Eric had first recommended he get help.

It was during this time when Chandi managed to persuade himself that he was all right and didn’t need professional help. He was unaware of how obsessive his behaviour had become. He had always been what some would refer to as a clean-freak, but now he was overdoing his practice of ‘a place for everything and everything in its’ place’ to the point of nit-picking. He’d even barked at Eric if the man left an empty coffee cup in the living room or didn’t put his newspaper in the trash immediately after reading it.

Chandi was quite satisfied that all was well, so he persuaded Eric that he need not accompany him to Kelowna andthen deliberately missed his appointment. He decided to spend the afternoon helping his elderly neighbour with her garden.

Unfortunately, Dr. Craig’s receptionist called to see what had happened and Eric answered the phone. Chandi was just so busted!Eric was less than pleased to hear that Chandi had failed to show up for his appointment. Checking his partner’s work calendar, he saw that Chandi would be available in four days time and asked if the doctor could see Chandi then. He guaranteed there would be no cancellation. He was going to attend the meeting with Chandi whether his Brat liked it or not. Eric was very concerned that Chandi was getting worse, not better, and needed professional counseling.

As soon as Chandi walked into the house an hour later, Eric began to sternly question him.

“Chandi, guess what happened this afternoon? I got a call from your doctor’s receptionist. She wanted to know why you didn’t keep your scheduled time with the doctor.” When no immediate reply was forthcoming, Eric continued, “You told me there was no need for me to go with you and that you could handle everything yourself. Why didn’t you keep that appointment?”Getting continued silence, Eric unsympathetically informed his Brat, “I’ve made another appointment for you in four days and this time I’m going with you. In fact, from now on I'll be going to all your appointments with you!”

Chandi glared at his partner. ‘Shit, I should have phoned and cancelled the damn appointment,’ he thought in retrospect, angry at himself but ready to take it out on Eric. “You had no bloody right to interfere. It’s none of your business. I’m doing fine now so I don’t need to see a shrink and you can’t make me.” He stomped off to the bedroom and began to remove his clothing. “I’ve got better things to do with my days off,” he hollered down the hall as he took off his sweaty shirt and threw it on the floor. His dirty pants soon followed.

Vaguely aware that Eric had quietly entered the room, Chandi stridently continued to argue as he looked for clean jeans in the closet. “And even if I was going, there is no way you’d be coming with me!”

“Okay, that’s enough! I’ve been patient with you and understanding, but you’ve just walked way over the line,” Eric scolded, fed up with listening to his Brat’s ranting. He sat on the bed, reached out and pulled Chandi over his lap. Before the young man could utter another word, his boxers were pulled down to his ankles and Eric had smacked him hard.“I love you and will ‘interfere’ when it comes to your well-being and whether you like it or not, it is my business,” Eric firmly stated. He brought his hand down sharply once again.

“I will come to your appointments and we will go through this together. I’m in this for your benefit and will do whatever it takes to make you well.” As he gave Chandi a third hard spank, Eric felt his Brat’s body begin to surrender. “And finally, you don’t talk to me that way, do you? We treat one another with respect and love. If you have a problem, we will discuss it. You will not go off in anger and let it build up inside and make you ill.”

Chandi had got over his surprise and had gasped when the second smack landed. If the big guy wanted his attention, then he had it. Eric’s words registered along with the heavy swats and Chandi shamefully admitted his partner had every right to be ticked-off. Embarrassed by his behaviour, the younger man made no attempt to resist the chastisement.

Feeling the last of the fight go out of Chandi, Eric gathered him in his arms to cuddle and reassure him. “I love you and I’ll do whatever it takes to make you feel better and get you back to where you used to be,” Eric murmured, hoping his love was coming through in his words as well as his actions.

“I’m sorry,” Chandi tearfully murmured against Eric’s neck, once he found himself encircled in his partner’s loving embrace. “I shouldn’t have spoken the way I did. I love you too.” Pushing himself off Eric’s lap, Chandi pulled up his boxers and rubbed at the sting his Top’s hand had left behind. “I trust our family doctor, Eric. I just wish Dr. Dean wasn’t sending me to a stranger in Kelowna, even though he explained why he felt I needed the kind of help he was unable to provide. But that was before I started feeling better, so why bother?”

“Chandi, he’s sending you to a specialist as you still need help,” Eric replied with a touch of exasperation in his voice. After staring at Chandi for a few moments, he added, “It’s no different than if I had a hearing problem. I’d be sent to an audio expert for the best possible care. There’s no stigma attached to seeing a specialist and Dr. Dean wants what is best for you. Is that part of what’s worrying you, seeing a high-quality consultant?”

Chandi shrugged. “It isn’t that he’s a specialist, it’s because he’s a stranger. I don’t like talking to people about personal things to begin with, let allow to someone I’ve never laid eyes on before.” Chandi briefly thought things over before petulantly asking, “So, my new appointment is in four days time, right?” Getting confirmation, he began to mull over ways to avoid it.

************

The next few days passed quickly and were uneventful as Chandi worked hard at showing his partner he had everything under control. On the eve of what he now referred to as ‘the redundant appointment’, Chandi found himself in a slow-burn over Eric reminding him of it. He fell asleep with plans for the morning running through his head.

Chandi was up before the sun. He dressed hurriedly and quietly left the house, leaving his Top none the wiser. Once out of the driveway, he began to run. To him, this form of exercise was a stress-reliever and a time to contemplate; most importantly it was a way for him to escape.

Today, Chandi freed his mind of all thought and just ran for the sake of running. The weather was perfect. The heat of the day would not be felt for hours yet and a light breeze was blowing as the refreshing smells of the dew-kissed country side threatened to overwhelm his senses.

It was well past the time that Chandi and Eric would have had to leave in order to keep the dreaded appointment, when the young man finally turned into the driveway. He slowed when he noticed both vehicles still in the yard and reluctantly entered the house. It was the furious expression on Eric’s face that finally drove home just how far he had stepped over the line and he gulped audibly.

“Come here, Chandi,” Eric ordered very calmly; much more calmly than he felt. He was furious, to say the least. How could Chandi treat him with such a lack of respect by purposely staying out all morning when he knew he had a doctor’s appointment that Eric had made and planned to attend with him?

Taking the younger man by the arm, Eric led him to a corner in the study. “Nose in the corner; I don’t want you to move or to hear a sound out of you. Is that clear?” Knowing he had to calm down before dealing with his Brat, Eric went to the kitchen and drank a glass of ice water, hoping that it would help.

Ten minutes later he knew he was composed enough to deal with Chandi. Back in the study, he eyed his partner. He really hated having to spank Chandi, but the young man had pushed Eric way past his limit this time.

“What were you thinking, Chandi?” Eric asked as he turned him around so they were face to face. “Did you really think I would let such disrespect go? You knew I’d planned to go to the appointment with you! I’m concerned about you and your taking off like that hurt me in more ways that one.” Eric sat down on a straight-back chair before yanking down Chandi’s pants and underwear. Then he pulled him over his lap and quickly rained down a series of hard swats.

Seeing by Chandi’s body language that he was still defiant about his actions, Eric continued spanking until he could see and feel the defiance dissipate. Eric quickly eased his now sobbing Brat onto his lap, making sure his butt would not be in contact with anything.

“It’s okay,” Eric softly assured the young man in his arms. “I’m here and I love you. I’ll always be here for you. All is forgiven.”

It took several minutes for the tears to stop flowing and for Chandi to open up enough to share his thoughts. “I’m sorry, Eric. It was never my intention to disrespect you. I just couldn’t keep the appointment. Even knowing you’d be coming with me, didn’t stop the anxiety from building until I couldn’t think of anything else to do but run from it. I’m sorry if I hurt you and I don’t blame you for losing faith in me,” he said in a small voice, hanging his head in disgrace and moving out of his partner’s embrace. “But I don’t want to see this doctor; I-I can’t see him….” he trailed off, undecided about verbalizing his biggest fears.

Noticing the disarray of magazines on the coffee table, he sat forward and out of habit, unconsciously started putting them in order according to size with the smallest on top. Suddenly realizing what he was doing, Chandi shouted his frustration as he swept his arm across the table and send the magazines flying. He straightened up and started pacing. “I was hoping to prove that nothing is wrong; guess I was only fooling myself. I shouldn’t be having trouble getting my head around something that happened years ago, but for some reason it seems that I am and I’m afraid, Eric,” Chandi murmured and looked beseechingly at the older man. “What if my friends and fellow officers learn of my seeing a shrink? What if this doctor discovers I’ve got even more serious problems than Dr. Dean thinks I do? What if he informs my superiors of my needing psychiatric care? What if I lose my job?”

“Chandi, I haven’t lost faith in you. I believe in you no matter what happens. You’ve had a lot of memories stirred up and you’re having a hard time dealing with them, but I believe in you,” Eric said as he got up and drew his Brat into his arms. “There’s nothing to be afraid or nervous about. The doctor is there to help you find ways to deal with the problems you’re experiencing, and I'll be there to support you as well. As for your friends and the people you work with, there’s no reason for them or your superiors to know you are having counseling. It has nothing to do with them or how you do your job. And everything we discuss with the doctor is confidential.”

Looking down at his lover, Eric added determinedly, “Trust me, we’ll work through this and things will get better.”

Although grateful for his partner’s reassurance and support, Chandi still resented being made to see a psychologist. He leaned into Eric’s embrace and took several moments to chew over the older man’s words before grudgingly accepting he had little choice if he wanted to avoid another trip over his Top’s knee. Wrapping his arms around Eric, Chandi unenthusiastically murmured his acquiescence to his partner’s wishes. “Okay, Eric, I go see Dr. Craig; I’ll even let you come into his office with me. Although I’ve fought you at every turn over this issue, I still know deep down that you only have my best interests at heart and I really love you for that. I’m sorry for causing you so much trouble.”

For some reason totally beyond Chandi’s understanding, now that he’d let go and just consented to Eric taking over, he felt so much better. It seemed as if a weight had been lifted and he wondered why he had put them both through so much torture instead of simply complying in the first place. Lifting his head, he gazed into Eric’s handsome face and asked, “When do you think you can get another appointment for us?”

“We have one for tomorrow morning at ten. I called when I knew we wouldn’t make today’s,” Eric calmly replied. “I knew you’d eventually come around to my way of thinking and I could not see the point in making an appointment a week away, which would just give you time to fret and worry again.” He shifted so that he could look Chandi in the eye. “I know you don’t want to go, but I’m sure Dr. Craig will be able to help you. Just give him a chance, that’s all I ask. And if for some reason you find he’s not the right doctor for you, we’ll find one who is. No matter what, we’ll succeed in getting you back to your cheerful self.” Eric smiled and quickly pulled Chandi into a tight hug and whispered, “I love you and I’m with you every step of the way.”

“Sounds like a plan; that not giving me time to worry and possibly take off again,” Chandi smirked. “And yeah, maybe it will all work out all right; at least I sure hope so. But I get to complain long and loud if it doesn’t, right?” He laughed at the expression of chagrin that passed over Eric’s handsome face.

******************

They were up early, getting on the road well before nine o’clock. The closer they got to Kelowna the more anxiety Chandi felt. He manifested his nervousness by distracting Eric with his continual moving about and by repeatedly changing the stations on the radio.

Eric tried to restrain himself from snapping at Chandi. He knew how worked up the younger man was, but his Brat’s constant squirming and fiddling with the dials on the radio was wearing on him. Eric kept telling himself that they were only a few miles from Kelowna and the doctor’s office. He took a deep breath and spoke more calmly than he felt. “Chandi, stop changing the channels. Pick one and leave it alone or I will pull over, and you and I will have a little ‘chat’.”

Seeing his partner’s startled expression, Eric added, “I know you are worried about the appointment, but we will be there shortly.”

No sooner had the words left his mouth than he saw the huge ‘Welcome to Kelowna’ sign. He smiled and announced, “Almost there, Chandi. I’m sure everything will go well.”

‘We’re here,’ Chandi inwardly groaned as they pulled into the parking lot of the clinic. ‘Suck it up, man, and make the best of it,” he silently admonished himself. Getting out of the car, he stretched the kinks out of his body and walked stoically towards the building with Eric by his side. He found his partner’s presence both reassuring and strengthening. Chandi reached for the older man’s hand, interlacing their fingers and shyly smiling up at him.

Ninety minutes later, they were sitting across from each other in a booth at a nearby restaurant and Chandi was still trying to figure out what it was he had been so distraught over. “He was nice, wasn’t he?” Chandi mused, referring to Dr. Craig. “I mean he wasn’t pushy and didn’t seem at all prying; just kind of interested like.” He wiped at the condensation on the side of his water glass, slightly embarrassed with having been so afraid of coming here today. “I’m looking forward to the group sessions he told us about and really, really relieved about not needing medication. What do you think of the whole thing, Eric?” Coffee brown eyes gazed across the table into twinkling blue ones.

Eric smiled, happy at the change in Chandi’s attitude and his acceptance of Dr. Craig and his suggestions. “Yes, I think he was very nice and he seemed to know what you needed. The sessions sound like a good idea. I like that Dr. Craig said there would be no pressure and you only need to participate as much as you feel comfortable with, but that it’s important for you attend. I’m happy he felt you didn’t need medication.”

He reached across the table and gave Chandi’s hand a quick squeeze. “I think everything is going to work out just fine,” he assured the young man with confidence.

“Yeah, I think so too,” Chandi sighed as he made this final admission and sat back in his seat. “Dr. Craig explained what happened. He said it is not at all unusual for care-givers to have the feelings I have and everyone deals with them in their own way. I’m gonna meet people at the sessions who’ve experienced what I’ve been through and worse. It will give me a chance to see that guilt is often part of it all and we all handle it differently. Because of my mild form of OCD, I have a tendency to go into over-drive when thing are bothering me, like unpleasant memories from the past resurfacing. Then I just kinda drive myself and anyone close to me around the bend.” He smirked at his partner’s feigned gripe of ‘Yeah, tell me about it.’

The two men smiled up at the waitress when their meal was put down in front of them, then ate in companionable silence for several minutes before Chandi glanced over at Eric and softly commented. “It’s rather interesting that your accident triggered all this turmoil, but it is a good thing too. Dr. Craig said it’s best out in the open so we can deal with it once and for all. Thanks for all your support, Eric. It is really because of you that I am now ready to move on.” Chandi leaned forward, his eyes glistening with emotion, and whispered, “I love you.”

“I love you too. I’ve been thinking back over the last couple of weeks and while it hasn’t been easy for either of us, I think it’s good that we’ve gone through this together as in the end, it’s strengthened us,” Eric replied. “We know now that we can deal with anything as long as we do it together.”

The End